So I've recently found out that perfectionists (that would be me) are prone to procrastination because basically, if you don't do something, or you do it half assed you don't have to worry about screwing it up. I think that's the way I've been approaching TTC. I gave up on charting mid cycle, or didn't push when my husband wasn't 'in the mood' when knew the timing was right. But this month, this month was was different. Timing was perfect, did the temping properly, everything, and it didn't work. So now, I'm trying to find a way to convince myself that I didn't really want it. Because you know, when I want it, it will happen. (yeah right)
So last night I bought my 2-pack of FRER, and like the idiot I am, I came home and used it immediately. Knowing full well that I had drank gallons of water all day, and there was no way it would come out positive, but I did it anyway. When I went in to check the test, I would have sworn there was the faintest little beginning of a line. But you know, I had drank to much water...'insert other excuses here'. But tomorrow, when I'm really prepared it will be positive. So going to sleep I was so anxious, it took me forever to fall asleep. I couldn't believe I'd slept through the night when my alarm went off. Confident this would be it (and complete terrified that this would be it), I was shocked when it was negative again. Temp stayed up, test BFN.
Okay, so I call this whole think 'So much to be thankful for', so guess I should look at things that way too. Obviously since I'm 13dpo with no AF in sight, I have a long LP, I've been told this is a good thing, right? Also, no worrying about 'fake drinking' on our upcoming camping trip. And some more time to keep working on this whole perfectionist thing. You know, working on not being a perfectionist, brings out the perfectionist in me too. Oh boy....Let's go AF, let's get cycle 6 on the road!
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